Behind the scenes of every success story are years of hard work.
Out of all the content I’ve consumed about productivity and achieving goals, I never found one that truly documented the entire process. A lot of times, all these success stories seem like they pop out of nowhere! Of course I understand that each story, talented or not, years of dedication was involved.
Someone is deemed successful at the point of achievement; and from my perspective, it seems like luck! Rationalizing this, the reason why I feel this way, not believe (small, but important distinction) is because I wasn’t present in the beginning. In fact, all we ever get to see is the success, but never the events before.
So that’s what I’m here to do! I’ve decided to chase what I define as successful! Regardless of the current state of my beliefs and skills, I want to capture it all. I want to snapshot who I was, and what I was doing. Hopefully, I can look back to this dissecting the steps that make up my story. Another hope I have is for others to read these entries, and apply what they find valuable here in their lives! To begin, I’ll start with who I am, what I want, and what’s in my way.
Who I am
My name is Arnie Nuqui Gamboa. I’m a short, energetic 23 year old! If you see me using exclamations, I promise it’s out of excitement of expression rather than yelling at you ahaha! If it helps, imagine having a sugar rush, but prolonged for the majority of the day. That’s how I generally am. Sometimes it bothers me how aware of my character I can be, but it’s my authentic self- SO BE IT!
To keep a long story short, here’s a quick summary of my life until now. I was born as a fraternal twin. Growing up, we moved almost each year because of being poor. Born with a heart to relieve others’ pain, but lacked the knowledge of how to express love. When asked what I wanted to do when I grow up, I would respond with “I want to help people”. Teachers would always reply with “You need to do something for yourself.” I understood their side, but this inclination to help others would eventually get buried.
Graduating top 1% of my class, I became depressed and found difficulties with suicide. My parents could no longer support me, so I had to give up my dreams of being a pro-boxer to sustain a steady stream of income. With my high school sweetheart, we moved out together and attended college in hopes for a stable future. After two years of living on our own to eventually a messy breakup, I found myself drained with life and with finances.
Eventually, I inevitably got burnt out. Soon after, I dropped everything. Unemployed, out of school, and directionless now. All I did at the time was rot in bed or have cheap thrills with all kinds of people. I did this until I found myself laying on train tracks, “If I wake up, then that’s that.” I woke up, and walked back home. Whoever I was before that moment, was gone. My identity left, and all that was left of me was a habitual smile. “My life is done. Time for some free play after the end of the game.” That’s what I thought for two more years.
In 2023, I met an inspiring girl who was a couple years younger than me at work. She didn’t have a healthy, functioning body. In fact, her doctor had informed her that her death would be within a decade. Despite her imminent end, she helped those in need through volunteering, tutoring, and radiating her compassion. Almost everyday, she would overextend herself for others, but to her, it was always worth it. Something clicked in me. Who was I to have the gift of a healthy body when she’s the one fighting to live every day? To this day, I appreciate her showing up in my life when she did. Thank you Tiffany, if you’re reading this.
2024 now, and it’s been the most me I’ve ever been! -and it’s only the beginning. Once relieving myself of a bad environment, I was able to reflect to truly learn who I am. I never really spent time to uncover my philosophies until recently. Turns out there is light at the end of the tunnel, and there’s a bit of silver lining in every struggle (bars). My suffering is an experience I can share to help other people. Perhaps someone out there is experiencing something similar to what I have, or at least my thoughts have some value (whether it be entertainment or small application in people’s lives).
In short, I have goals that I’m committing to, and I’m ready to do what it takes to achieve them!
What I Want
Retire Parents
My parents had me in their later years. As they’re reaching their 60s, I’m in my early 20s. It didn’t feel so long ago that my dad was able to carry both my brother and I up stairs, and now he’s asking us to carry water upstairs because of his back. For so long, I was focused on myself. Never to realize, that time doesn’t just affect me. Time also affected my parents.
From when I was young, they were always working. Day after day, they worked to the bone. Now that I’m working, I understand they worked so much to provide. The only difference that I see now is that their bodies aren’t able to handle it as much. Their mortality shows. I don’t want to see them fight so hard anymore. Like most of us, I want to relieve my parents.
My parents are immigrants. They decided to try life in America. They didn’t know the language, and left everyone they knew behind. All that they’ve done was hustle for decades. Putting myself in theirs, I can’t even imagine the trials and tribulations that came with that.
So now, my most yearning desire is to be able to provide them a life that they want. A life where they no longer need to dedicate their hours for money. Since they had me so late in their lives, I have a growing fear of the inevitable. Before I know it, they’re going to be gone. I want them to be freely happy before they pass away. I feel that I don’t have much time left. I’m willing to dedicate my life now as they’ve done for me.
Retire Myself
When I was 11, I declared, “I want to retire by 30.” I don’t know or remember why I was inclined to say that. For myself, I would say it out loud as a joke that seemed outlandish. However, the idea stuck with me until now. Instead of saying it for humor, I say it with commitment. Funnily enough, I get more laughs about it now than when I meant it as a joke! I’m not entirely sure if I’m able to achieve this goal, but I do want to try; and if I fail, at least I can have the relief that I gave it my all!
Dissecting this retire-by-30 proclamation, I think it may have rooted in my difficult upbringing. For all my life, I had to keep moving forward. Regardless of what circumstances came such as moving constantly, not-so present parents, and wondering if there was enough food, I had to adapt. If that meant sacrificing my emotions, learning to take care of myself, and starving myself until the next day, then it is what it is. In combination of that, I saw my parents exhausted almost everyday. Many times coming home late because of multiple jobs. As a kid, I was upset. Yet now, I know what it’s like to need to work to live.
I’ve continued the cycle, and I know what a life like this plays out. I want out.
Freedom
I want to live a life where I can dictate how I live my life.
I have this belief that everyone holds something amazing, exclusive to them. The greatest minds such Socrates, Einstein, and Newton are all people; and people includes you and me. Even if you don’t believe it, there’s one fact that’s true. There is no one in this world that’s lived and interpreted life exactly as you do. Your experiences, thoughts, and morals only belong to you. With that belief in mind, I wondered why everyone isn’t able to express their greatness.
My answer to that? I think we don’t try; honestly, I don’t think most of us know how yet -and that’s okay! For myself, I’m beginning to know what it’s like to start trying. I’m no rookie when it comes to hard work as I’ve been disciplined in sports. Although, I think the true hard work lies in doing things that are not comfortable. Many athletes can “work hard” running and doing drills. Although, having that difficult conversation with your parents, speaking your mind to your crush, and taking risks to further your career, to me, is the real hard work. I would be filled with overwhelming regret that I didn’t accomplish fulfilling goals because of one reason: “I didn’t try.” I’m curious on what I can achieve once I put my all, and earn my stability!
I want the time to create the things I truly care about. I would like to have the freedom to share my thoughts through creative expression such as writing, music, and videos! There’s value in each of our struggles, and I want to share mine. I think that’s the main point of humanity, right? To better each other through our experiences. Considering that, I would like to partake in the greater cause!
What’s in My Way
Debt
At the current moment, I’m facing debt. Approximately, $8,000 (previously $15,000). Each time I work to send my paycheck for theses debts, I often feel this void. As I pay more debt, the interest accrues, and makes this task feel endless. For those of you reading, maybe that amount is a little bit. As of right now though, that’s three months of overtime each week assuming I don’t pay for any expenses(I do). I do know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but each month I feel demoralized thinking that it’s impossible and never-ending.
Limiting Beliefs
More than ever, I am aware of what’s made me, me. Whether it came from absorbing the habits of my parents, or learning something on the internet; I’m good at finding the root cause of why I behave the way I do. A great follow up question that helped me after every thing I say or do is “Why did I say/do that?”
After years of doing that, I noticed that I have two beliefs about myself. These beliefs prevent me from bringing out all of me. One being “In order to earn more, I have to work more.” The other being “I fear taking risks or trying new opportunities because I’m not good enough to succeed.”
The first belief might sound a little controversial. I’ll explain my thought process. I’m obligated to work eight hours a day, five days a week, like most. In a year, I get ~$36,000. With my monthly expenses and the increasing prices of everything, I wouldn’t be able to afford retiring my parents, heck not even myself! It may be realistic to be able to provide for myself if my only goal was to live below my means for the majority of my life. Even if I worked my max amount of overtime, my annual income is still not enough: ~$43,200. Problem is, I want to live a life of freedom, and liberate my parents!
No matter how much I work in my current job, it’s impossible. That’s what jobs are designed to do. To keep you there as long as possible. I’ve seen it in my parents, and I don’t want to start a needless cycle.
Now my second belief is more relatable. For many of us, we’re insecure about our value. Perhaps, we feel as if we don’t deserve many good things. It doesn’t matter how we came to the idea, those thoughts spawn in our minds further chaining us down. I don’t want to go down a road where I autopilot my life never trying anything. That only solidifies my position. Therefore, the opportunity of a better reality would cease to exist. I think it’s because of the failure we incur, that we develop confidence in ourselves. Similar to practicing a punch in boxing. In order to throw a jab, you have to put in bad reps first to fully understand a great jab. Once you understand, you can drill in better reps until throwing it is effortless. Akin to building confidence in the uncomfortable. Well! That’s how it seems to me, in theory! I’ll give it a shot and let you know myself!
Time/9-5
Ah yes! The reason that most of us are here. Dreading the hours of work just to live. Day after day, we get stuck on the routine, wondering if this is what it’s all meant to be. Instead of living life, we shut off to only show up to life. As technology advances, and the need for people to work decreases, it leaves me wondering why we still hold the old working standards way before our time. That’s another conversation. For now, the 9-5 has taken it’s toll on my life.
I am still able to have good memories inn my life, but in the back of my thought is “I have work soon.” Then, the good feeling ends up being dread, and stained. I know there are many different ways and tricks to change my perspective on the matter. Although, I’d much rather find something that suits me better. Maybe I don’t deserve better, or shouldn’t be thinking that there’s more to life than that. However, that would fall into my limiting beliefs. As of this moment, I want to retire early as soon as possible. I’m dedicated to achieving these goals until it happens!
Once free from the sacrifice of my hours for money, I want to pursue all of my creative passions that I’ve had to bury in order to survive. This is my post, and I know I sound selfish! My advice: you should be selfish as well, and strive to do whatever it takes to be fulfilled!
In Conclusion
Whoever you are, I know you want something. It’s up to you whether you can close the bridge between your ideas and execution. As for me, you can oversee if I’m able to close the bridge. Whatever it takes to retire my parents, myself, and earn my freedom, I am willing. After a commitment like this, I’m sure to learn something or have a glimpse of what I want. We shall see in time!
If you read this, thank you for your time. My hopes are to document each part of this to make it known that it’s possible. Wherever you are in life, I wish you the best of luck on your journey! Be safe out there! See ya!~
